WARNING: NO ONE IS GOING TO BELIEVE THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS.
The Scotsman newspaper is reporting that Scottish pub-goers are more likely than their English counterparts to want a comfy sofa and a good selection of wine in their local bar.
Not content with suggesting a hitherto unheralded alcoholic sophistication the article goes on to report that the Scots also want a children’s menu more than other parts of the UK.
However as far as the Scots are concerned you can keep cakes and WIFI out of the boozer – they have no place there.
The poll was conducted by YouGov and was commissioned by the pub chain Green King in order to create PR puff stories like these.
In a desperate attempt to defy the the cultural revolution that is the internet the head of Greene King, Rooney Arnand, has issued the following self-delusion:
“The British pub meets timeless human needs that are simply not fulfilled by other meeting places or groups, like social media networks.”
Computer say what? Did the head of Greene King really utter that or I am imagining things. So his latest piece of research must have shown that more people are honing their narcissism on Facebook than going down the boozer. And this is the drivel they come up with to counter it.
Perhaps they should just reduce their prices and offer more choice instead.
The sooner the big pub chains relinquish control of our pub network the better.